Yes, I am still here. I know I have neglected you.
The past few months have been interesting. I raced over mountains and swamps and stuff. It was like living in Lord of the Rings. But...also not at all.
It is winter, as you probably noticed when you went outside somewhere that is NOT naples, FL, and that means the Lizard must do base miles, and several of them. I did a string of 4 hour days when my grandmother was here visiting and she asked, "how far do you think you go on those rides?"
I said, "well, today I did eighty."
To which she replied, "eighty...what?"
"Miles...?" D'AWWWWWWW.
It is weird how you get used to things. Two years ago, if you had told me to go ride four hours a day four days in a row, i might have laughed or cried in your face. But now, I sort of think of 3 hours as being short. I believe this is also impacted by the pancake-like surface that I cycle upon. But...i mean, we can blame those darn higher powers for that one.
I have reached a point in my life where I am not exactly sure what the best path forward is. I am a college graduate, but the only thing I seem to have taken from that is the ability to pedal really hard and endure moderate amounts of suffering. With the help of retrospective 20-20 vision, I often feel happiest when investing myself 2000000% into something I think I can win at, because THAT IS THE POINT RIGHT?!?? And of course, when the way forward is blocked, I want to quit whatever it is that I have spent 2000000000000 mana points on and try something else. Because it is the progress that is so good! It makes you feel like you are going somewhere!
Do you know I used to want to be on broadway!? and then...I realized I can't sing. So i was like, SCREW YOU GUYS IMMA DO SPORTS. Then i did cross country. I ran 12 miles a day for my whole first (and only) competitive season. When i graduated and went to college where--surprise--i was comparatively HORRIBLE even at my fastest ever, I became disillusioned and decided I'd do something new.
I blame being a gemini....we always feel like we are missing out on something. And maybe we are.
