Winter Garden

I know. I know.

I am a really bad blogger.

You see, internet, though cycling does make me very happy, there are times when it also makes me very sad. I want this blog to be funny and happy, and so when I have the depressive funkies, I don't really feel much like posting. Deductive reasoning would lead one to believe that I have much depression, as there are no posts in here for like....months....but i mean don't get me wrong, I am also kind of lazy and I like naps.

SO, I am not saying like YEAH I RESOLVE TO WRITE FOREVAAAAAA POST POST POST 10000000XXXXX!!! But I am saying that I will do my best darn it! Whatever that is.

SO. THE RACE.

Yeah, we went to a race this weekend! In winter garden. Not to be confused with Winter Haven, or the actual season of winter because by jove it was hot as bunk out there this weekend. Nope. Winter Garden. Believe it.

The Rose Bandits (is it one word or two?) fielded a squad of six riders plus an honorary Kyle who drove up with me in my minivan. I strongly feel that this is indicative of our team style and I wish other regions could figure out how to make this happen. I mean, I think we sometimes get heckled for being half the field, but hey other teams can do the same thang! We could have fields of 50 ladies....it would be cool man.

Anyway, the criterium was Saturday morning; the course, a sort of squashed-circle-lookin thing with a long section of brick. When I say long, I mean it was like 1/4 mile. MAYBE. I am a terrible judge of distance.

But, anyway, again, yeah, Criterium! 11 am! We awoke and everyone went to iHop except for me and Kyle, I think, but we drank hotel coffee and ate publix bagels, so that's cool. Yeah. We went to the course where instead of warming up, I slammed a red bull and stood in the registration line for thirty minutes. (I am so pro.) ((but really though i am self sabotaging help me)).

The race began, and after two or three laps I attacked because heck it seemed like a good idea at the time and there was a tailwind. By the time I had really thought about it, I was already doing it--this is sort of indicative of my life and also the way I ride a bicycle. It is like writing--what is wrong with your writing is what's wrong with you, right? So maybe, what's wrong with your riding is what's wrong with you as well. So like...how do I become a logical human being?

But yeah. Attacking. I did that. So I went and I was about to hit the next corner (third corner?) when I heard something behind me. I was ostensibly startled because I was expecting to just do that and then probably get caught, but no! It was my teammate, Amy, saying something like "help," or "I am going to help," or something like that. I was like "oh that's neat!" and so we kept going.

The group remained with in a reasonable sort of distance for a little bit but we really started putting time into them after a few laps. I started really tasting red bull and feeling like I was going to die. I was cornering somewhat poorly (per usual, how do I improve this) and I began to feel like my bike was full of lead. This is ridiculous because Don Pedro is a stallion and only goes one speed (MADD FAST YO HOLLA).

So anyway, I kind of gave up and threw up on myself and I have a healthy sense of shame about that because this is a thing that I sometimes do in my life. When things get hard, I want to throw my bicycle away and take up curling. But this is stupid and this is not a good way to be. And so I write this down as evidence of my public shame. This blog will be my scarlet letter. Literature. As a sort of penance I did the 4 race and continued doing many of the things that make me do poorly rather than practicing new good habits, I am an idiot.

So, back in the race (metaphysical blog space time jump!), I was suffering solo and amy was crushing me and I was looking for the peloton around every corner because I was pretty sure they were going to catch me at that point--but they did not. So that was good for me. I think amy had like 1 minute on the field/lapped a group of 3-4 women which is absurdly cool. RB resident crushers laura and meaghan took 3rd and 4th. So that was a RB podium that day, which is neat.

The road race played out sort of how I thought it might, except also not at all how I thought it might. We were lumped with the 60+ men's category because apparently TopView thinks that ladies suck at life and that 60+ men are ladies. The announcer said something like "YEAH LET'S SEE IF A GIRL WINS OR A GUY!" I instantly thought, "oh great, that is awesome announcer. way to be." because for the remainder of the race, a bunch of those guys took on the role of super domestiques and chased every time a girl did anything. thanks guys. thanks.

So while I tried attacking a couple times, I decided that resistance was futile and that everyone was just kind of sitting on while I tuckered myself out. This hardly seems like good strategy. And so I stopped.

Near the end of the race, I kind of thought it was over twice, and in my premature excitement I burned up many (all?) of my matches. At this point I was thinking how I could best help my teammates, as the idea of an uphill bunch sprint sort of just makes me giggle. Unfortunately I really could not think of any helpful ideas, and so I kind of just wiggled around and tried to stay sort of close to the front.

It came down to the last little bend and I was like "OH YEAH IT'S OVER YEAH!!" and i went. Then, I saw a continuing stretch of uphill road and I my legs were like "GOOD ONE LIZ. THAT IS JUST GREAT." I tried to regroup a little bit but at that point I had kind of spent my last nickel if you know what I mean! (is that a thing? did I invent an old-timey saying?)

i was too far away to really see what really happened BUT I know that nobody died and so that is good, yay us. I think that I like to negatively color the events of races even when I do well because I just do that, and it is a think that I must temper and break with. Because man is it ever depressing! For example, after the criterium I was sure that the peloton must have just stopped going because how could they not catch me?! But I realize this is bad, and this cheapens the efforts of everyone involved. I often instinctively think bad things about myself, but in this situation those thoughts aren't just mine or about me, they reflect on the performances of people I like and want to do well. And so I guess I recognize this and I will try to not do that. It is a weird thing: I mean, does someone else doing well mean that I suck? That is highly comparative and probably damaging to my psyche. Which is fragile. Hmp.

In summation, I have a lot of lizard feelings. bicycles. sunburn? I will post all the things. I WILL TRY.
Next race is Presbyterian, which is rumored to have a lot of shebang and whip-whap. Also next week I begin doing some mad vo2 crushin efforts. Though I am filled with anxiety over these things, I will do my daily lizard affirmations (I am a good lizard! I will do my best! etc etc etc) and I will conquer them!!!! Excessive number of exclamation points! Wish me luck, if you want, or wish me ill, I guess that is your prerogative. I am hungry. GOODBYE!


Love,
Lizard