THE LIZARD HAS BEEN CRUSHED BY TOAD: Well, mostly, but not quite.

HOT DIGGETY. Wow I haven't written for a good while. Well, audience, I do have an excuse. And a good one, too. Yes.

THE PLAGUE. THE PLAAAAAGUEEEEE. I told you that Lapars was dying, perhaps of dysentery? Well. I thought my body had repelled said illness. In fact, I was sure of it. I WAS WRONG.

WRONG. WROOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.

THE MORNING
You know. Who knows what day it was? I feel like I have lived in this basement my entire life.

 It began, I think, with Waukesha; that race really took the guts out of me. The whole time I felt something was...you know, horribly wrong. Other than the fact that I was dying, that is. I went to sleep that night feeling normal, and awoke with a dreadful feeling of doom.

I was advised by many to take the day off, but of course, I did not. The next day--Schlitz Park. Surely, I should take this race off! But alas, I did not. I raced this as well, if you can call what I did that morning racing. Let's just say...I was feeling somewhat less than my lizard prime. But what can you do.

I flatted my carbon tubular front wheel (OF ALL THE THINGS) just before the thing began, and was forced to try out a neutral support Zipp 404 (poor me). It did not postpone or ameliorate my sad performance, but I like to think that it helped.

After the race I met up with Amy and Laura, two amazing floridian racers who happen to be dominating the women's 3-4 racing up in the land of dairy and, apparently, respiratory illness. I told them of my wheel-related suffering, and they promptly offered to take it to their sponsor shop, Wheel and Sprocket, to give it some TLC. I, of course, accepted, flabbergasted by their niceness. They are perhaps the nicest ever. EVER? Yes, ever.

LATER
I went home from Schlitz park and made my way to the couch that has come to know me quite well. I laid down, and slept. And slept. And slept.

AND SLEPT. You get it, right?!

The morning came, but the lizard did not stir.

"Liiiiiz?" Diego and Vanessa prodded me, but I merely made a weird noise and rolled over in my stupor. "LIIIIIZ?"

Nothing worked. In fact, I have no memory of them even trying to wake me! I was officially, candidly, tritely, dead to the world. Jen remarked that I had been "hiding out in their basement like a teenage boy." Yes, maybe. IF I WERE A TEENAGE BOY DYING OF INFLUENZA.

I suffered in my dungeon like a little troll, watching an endless stream of Sherlock episodes. BENNYBLUB CANDLESNATCH. If you are Charlotte and you are reading this, then you get that joke.

So I did not race the next day. And then, the next. These were both road races and I felt like utter death the entire time, so I did not despair much over missing them. Because, really, I would have ridden like garbage. Also, I must consider the nationals that are happening next week. We'll need the lizard in her tip-top, yes? Yes.

I drank more packets of emergen-c than is probably healthful, and consumed cup upon cup of herbal tea. I was browbeating this illness back with homeopathy!! Or, that is what I told myself I was doing. gradually my demeanor improved. My throat felt less like a sand box littered with pinecones, and my brain pressure released. I began to feel again like a human being! Joy.

So, aside from the lovely barbecue we attended with Diego's teammates from Team Predator, none of us did much today. Tomorrow we ride again! Me, mostly because I need to wear my spider-man skinsuit in a race. You know, testing the waters and all.

I shall update you on the race tomorrow! GOODNIGHT YALL