TOAD: THE FINAL DAYS

Christ! Finally, it comes near to the end, in the sense that I can at least see it now. You know how a thing seems so long that it simply never completes? Like a unending tunnel of black. But happier. Okay, it's not a tunnel of blackness. But, I mean, the description serves my purpose. You will live if it is not totally apt.

So, here is what happened today.

TODAY, MORNING!!!!!!
I awoke, feeling once again like a human and not like a plugged-up nostril monster. I was joyous at this. I put on my cycle wear and readied for morning spin!! We did this, and then stopped at a coffee shop for DIRTY CHAI!!! I had not experienced the wily caress of caffeine in two days now, and this hit me like a good old fashioned punch in the teeth. That is to say, I enjoy and love being punched in the teeth. You know.

Promptly following this excursion, we went home to lunch. I worked on my book and listened to Heart of Courage by Two Steps from Hell on repeat. It is my new favorite song, I think. The strings!! THE STRINGS.

We ate lunch, and laid around a bit. I took two more emergen-c shots for good measure. You know, don't just get not sick; you have to grab sick by the throat, shake it a bit and then spit in its face. The insult is key. "YEAH SICKNESS. COME BACK AND TRY ME AGAIN FOOL." That kind of thing.

WHAT DAY IS IT? Later

We left for the race course. Diego put on "Pitbull Radio" on pandora. I am ashamed to say that I knew and loved every song that came on. DA LE.

EVEN LATER

Vanessa and I warmed up with the "colombian secret," prescribed by Diego. No, we will not tell you what the colombian secret is.

LATER STILL

The warming up and stuff was over. There was no inspirational self-talk today, because I was happy just to feel well enough to ride. It was a flat, four corner crit. Very orthodox. Very much what you would expect. The course offered little to narrow the field, and I enjoyed this.

They announced the first prime, and I went for it despite the lead-y feeling in my legs. Heck, why am I here? I have little faith in my finish, I might as well go for money. I jumped on the backside and chugged along in the tailwind going about 31-32.

I realized at the corner that I had superstar Debbie Milne and some other girl that I did not know on my wheel...MAYBE THEY WILL BE AS NICE AS SAM SCHNEIDER? Yeah, no chance of that. They sprinted around me like I was not moving. We hovered about 5-10 seconds in front of the peloton (if that) and I was somewhat pleased that I could even get that distance away.

I attacked once more at the $200 prime, but to no avail. I think scotti got that one. Bejesus!!! they so strong. I am humbled.

The rest of the race was uneventful; I spent the hour repeatedly moving up and slinking back, either top 5-10 or LAST. DFLLLLL. Idk man. It is rough stuff out there.

AFTER
The race ended, I was not entirely displeased with my performance considering the fact that I had spent the last two days swaddled in blankets, sniveling to episodes of Sherlock. It began to rain during diego's race, and he pulled himself. We went for dinner (a pizza which i consumed in perhaps 3 bites), and retired to the Hardman casa.

Tomorrow another criterium. I shall continue this egregious style of racing in which I attack repeatedly. REPEATEDLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HEART OF COURAGE IS PLAYING. I AM SO FULL OF HOPE, INTERNET.

Until later,
Lizard